Eporner Anal: Those of you who have been following my reviews have probably noticed that I’ve been on quite an anal kick lately. It’s true, my desire for anal porn tends to come and go, just like how I fuck—I cum and go. I don’t want to stick around for pillow talk after. No, I’m not making you pancakes in the morning, bitch, I just fucked your ass for four hours straight and made you cum ten times. Isn’t that enough? The last thing I am trying to do after you rimmed my asshole and let me cum all over your face is look you in the eyes and cook you breakfast. Fuck that.
When I watch porn, it is not always anal. Much like the actual asshole, I view anal porn as a once in a while treat. You know, once I’ve sufficiently stretched the pussy out and I need something tighter and undefiled to help get my head back in the game (in more ways than one). Well, the same thing is true with anal porn. I indulge in it in waves. I’ll go months on end without watching a single anal scene, then, for weeks straight, that’s all I’ll watch, until, inevitably, I need me some good, old fashioned pussy once more.
It’s good to know your own porn habits and patterns. And it is, therefore, important to have an arsenal of porn to satisfy every itch, because it is nearly impossible to predict when you are going to want what. Like an artist keeps a diverse palette of paints at the ready to dip into whenever he needs a specific color, as a pornoholic, you should have a diverse stockpile of kinks and niches, an array of porn sites to choose from so you can be prepared whenever a particular mood strikes you.
I typically advise people to have a nice spread of different kinds of sites, too. You generally want anywhere between one and five premium paysites (obviously, the more the merrier), around three free porn tubes, a go-to porn search engine, and at least one cam site (with credits ready to be spent). Like they say when it comes to investing in the stock market, it is important to diversify your portfolio. In this case, when it cums time to invest in your cock’s market, it is equally important to diversify your porn-folio!
So, since we have established that you should have at least three porn tube sites at your disposal, today we will be evaluating a free porn tube site known as ePorner. We won’t be looking at the whole site, though, we’ll be focusing, since I’m in one of my anal periods at the moment, on just ePorner’s anal category. Let’s see if ePorner is good enough to make it into your top three go-to porn tubes for when you get a hankering for some booty hole.
Well, if you are as much of a pornoholic as I think you are (you are, after all, spending your time reading porn site reviews, so I think it’s a fair assumption), you’ve probably come upon ePorner at one time or another in one of your endless porno conquests. Whether or not you’ve cum upon it is a different story. It’s a fairly popular free tube site. Maybe not as popular as, say, Porn Hub or Red Tube, but it’s definitely up there. And if you’re looking for a fuck ton of anal porn, ePorner has definitely got you covered.
A Fuck Ton of Anal Scenes, Great Site Design to Back it Up
With a grand total of 140,035 anal porn videos to choose from, I think it’s fair to say you’ll never run out of fapping material. If, for some reason that would defy all logic, you don’t think that’s enough anal porn for you (well, first of all, you probably have a serious health condition that you should go to a doctor for), there’s no need to worry … ePorner, like any free porn tube worth taking a look at, is constantly being updated with new videos to enjoy. Feel free to fap yourself chafed, you’ll never run out of free anal porn here!
From the moment you land on ePorner’s anal category, you will be besieged with porn. Small-ish thumbnails will be splayed before you in rows from the top of the page to the bottom, where you will have to click through each page, either one at a time or in intervals of 9. Sadly, there is no “last page” button. I know it’s not a huge loss, but sometimes it can be fun to start at the oldest upload and work your way backwards.
Below each thumbnail you will be able to see a descriptive caption (and these are very accurate, I must say, in comparison with certain other free tube sites) the average user rating of the video, its total number of views, and a time stamp to let you know how long it is. In the upper righthand corner, you will also be able to see the highest streaming quality available (anywhere from 480p to 1080p, full HD).
One place where ePorner has already managed to impress me is the fact that each thumbnail gives you a video clip preview when you place your cursor over it. This may seem like a pretty small detail to be fixated on, but I can’t fucking stand it when a porn site, especially one as vast as a porn tube site, doesn’t offer a preview of the video in some way … even a simple gallery slideshow will suffice. Porn tubes are for browsing, and how the fuck am I supposed to efficiently browse hundreds of thousands of anal videos without seeing a preview of some sort before I click? You’d be surprised at how many sites neglect to code this very simple, very helpful feature.
To the left of the thumbnails, you’ll find a useful and convenient site navigation menu. Here, you can quickly filter videos. Choose whether you want to see just amateur or just professional content (or go with All) and toggle between any of the available categories (in case you get sick of the butthole), from 4K Ultra HD to Webcam. Further filtering can be accomplished by clicking one of the four tabs above the thumbnail gallery (Most Recent, Most Viewed, Top Rated, Longest). I must say, I really appreciate it when a site like ePorner makes it easy to sift through the crazy number of videos they offer. I especially like being able to sort videos by length, since so many free porn tubes seldom feature full-length content.
Perfect for a Premature Ejaculator
And that leads me to my first real criticism of ePorner: video length. As I mentioned before, this is the most common issue I have with porn tubes … they just don’t have a lot of full-length scenes. And ePorner is no exception to that rule. There are some free sites out there that do exclusively host full-length professional scenes, too, so I know it’s not impossible. I just find it so fucking frustrating because I need more than a 10-minute collage of excerpts if I’m gonna bust a nut. Maybe you premature ejaculators won’t be as bothered by this, though.
Ads: The AIDS of the Porn Site
My other big complaint with ePorner is the fact that the site is so fucking riddled with ads. Okay, okay, I know, ‘ads are where porn sites make their money,’ yadda yadda yadda, whatever. If that were true, though, I would have ads on The Porn Dude and, guess what, I don’t. So, I don’t buy that bull. I know that there are other ways for porn sites to make money. Advertising is just the lazy man’s way to do so.
It’s not like I don’t often turn the other cheek with ads, either, it’s just that the ads on ePorner are so fucking invasive that they slip through the cracks of my ad blocker and divert me to other sites via popups. I have one simple rule when it comes to porn sites: do not kill my boner. And nothing kills my boner faster than having to close out of annoying fucking ads all over the place when I’m trying to fap.
Eporner Anal Conclusion
But that being said, all in all, ePorner offers a huge number of high-quality anal porn videos. Is it worth adding to your palette, your porn-folio? Well, that will be for you to decide. The site is designed pretty well, it’s easy to navigate, there’s plenty of hot anal sluts to watch getting fucked, that’s for sure. Whether or not you add it to your porn arsenal in the end, I would suggest giving it a shot.